My parents taught me about Jesus from a young age, and while they weren’t perfect, they modeled humility, confession, and authenticity. I saw them own their mistakes and ask for forgiveness, which shaped how I understood what it meant to follow Jesus.
When I was five, I trusted in Jesus. I didn’t understand everything about grace or my need for a Savior at that age, but I genuinely wanted to know and follow Jesus.
As I got older, I started looking to other things for the satisfaction and approval I wanted. I was constantly setting my hopes on what people thought of me.
Those desires showed up in other areas of my life through people pleasing, scrupulosity, comfort, body image, and an unhealthy relationship with food. Even my faith became a place where I tried to earn approval. I would read my Bible, pray, and do the things I thought I was supposed to do, but it was often just striving towards perfection in my own works rather than resting in Jesus’ finished work.
When I was 14, my mom helped me see that more clearly. So much of my life revolved around friends, gossip, drama, and getting attention from guys. She sat me down and showed me the two paths in front of me. I could keep chasing the things I thought would satisfy me and continue being disappointed by unmet expectations, or I could fully surrender my life to Christ.
By the Spirit’s power, I chose to surrender.
For me, that meant stepping away from many of the friendships I had depended on. It was a lonely season, but God used that loneliness to draw me closer to him. As I let go of the things I had made too important, I had more room to grow in my relationship with him. I began to understand that following Jesus wasn’t about checking all the right boxes. It meant continually surrendering the things I was tempted to put in his place.
During that season, I also grew to love serving the local church. I started leading worship, serving in kids’ ministry, and becoming more involved at my church. I also spent time listening to teaching from other churches, and some friends introduced me to the podcast from The Porch, Watermark’s ministry for young adults.
When I came to Dallas to see my older sister, I wanted to visit Watermark. I saw the kind of biblical community I wanted in my own life. I was encouraged by the teaching, leadership, and authenticity throughout the church.
When I was 17, I decided to spend 10 weeks in Dallas with my sister and her family. My plan was to experience life at Watermark, learn what I could, and eventually return home.
Those 10 weeks looked nothing like I expected.
Soon after I arrived, my sister, who was pregnant, became severely sick. She was bedridden for much of my visit and hospitalized twice. I spent a lot of my time caring for her six other kids, making meals, and doing whatever I could to help their family. In my free time, I was at Watermark.
I began working at Kids Midweek, where I served with other high school students who invited me to a student-led Bible study.
The students in this Bible study were all-in with Jesus. He didn’t just have their Sundays; he impacted how they lived throughout the entire week. This was evident in the way they welcomed me and encouraged me as I navigated the trials of that time. For the first time ever, I had the kind of community I had been praying for.
When I went back to Virginia, I hoped to bring what I had learned home, but that summer turned out to be one of the hardest of my life as friendships and relationships changed.
Once again, I felt lonely.
Later, my sister asked me to come back for five weeks. I knew that meant another season of serving my sister’s family in ways that weren’t always easy, but I also knew the Lord had more for me in Dallas.
Coming back became another opportunity to surrender.
My family could see how much having a healthy community in Dallas was helping me grow, and they encouraged me to stay. I fully moved to Dallas in January 2025 and began Watermark’s membership process.
Finding a church and community didn’t mean God was finished showing me areas I needed to surrender.
I went through Re:generation for Students, thinking I didn’t have much to work through. Instead, God used that time to help me understand the depth of my sin and how deeply I need Christ. I couldn’t fix myself by my own strength or by doing all the right things. I needed Jesus.
God continued to challenge my plans during a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with Watermark Students. For a long time, missions had been one of the things I told God I didn’t want to do. But during that trip, even when things were uncomfortable or difficult, I experienced a steady joy and satisfaction in the Lord that made me wonder if missions might be something God was asking me to consider.
After the trip, I went through the Discover Missions class and continued asking what obedience might look like for me. I still don’t know exactly what God has planned, or if overseas missions will be part of my life long-term. I just know that right now, I want to be willing and available.
When I look back, I can see how often God has asked me to surrender the things I thought I needed, like relationships, approval, control, and even my plans for the future.
Surrender hasn’t been one big decision. It’s something the Lord continues to teach me every day. I don’t know exactly where he will lead me next, but I’m learning that He is faithful and all-sufficient in every season of life.