“Both of my parents are believers, and I always liked going to church. I liked learning; it felt like school to me. I could tell you the gospel, but I didn’t really know what it meant in my own life.
“As a kid, I was a rule follower. I understood what was good and bad and what would get me in trouble. When I left home as a first-generation college student, I felt a great deal of pressure to live out the American dream that my parents had come here for. I went to Texas A&M to study civil engineering, and to me, failure wasn’t an option. I remember thinking, ‘God, it was cool knowing you, but while I’m in school, you’re going to take a backseat. I’ll come back when I’m married and have kids.’
“For the next few years, that’s exactly what I did. My idol became my degree. I was self-reliant, self-sufficient, and treated God like a genie I could call on before an exam. I called myself a Christian because that’s how I grew up, but the truth is, I was just trying to be good, not transformed.
“My junior year, I didn’t have time for God, but I had time for a boyfriend. That relationship ended up being one of the hardest seasons of my life. The person I was dating struggled deeply with depression and suicidal thoughts. When he attempted to take his life, I was the one who found him. It broke me.
“Sitting in the hospital that night, I started asking questions I couldn’t ignore anymore. How hopeless do you have to be to get to that point? And if I said my hope was in Jesus, what did that really mean? If I really believed the hope I claimed, why hadn’t I shared it?
“That night, the Lord used that tragedy to get my attention and change the direction of my life.
“The change wasn’t immediate. Eventually, I moved to Dallas. I had seen a video about Watermark on Facebook, so I started attending, first on Tuesdays at The Porch, then at Sunday services. I didn’t know anyone, but I noticed people went out of their way to welcome me. I quickly made friends from the very first night. Someone walked me from the parking garage to the door, invited me to game nights and movie nights, and soon after sent me Scripture and welcomed me in. I was still healing, but God used his people to remind me I wasn’t alone.
“It wasn’t time that healed me. It was the Lord. He reminded me that my identity wasn’t in a relationship. I wasn’t the savior. Jesus is.
“Eventually, I started serving at The Porch. I didn’t have many friends yet, but God was kind to show me what it looked like to live authentically, to stop pretending I had everything together, and to realize my success was because of the Lord, not me.
“But idols have a way of finding new shapes. When work became my next focus, I poured myself into my job, sometimes 60 or 80 hours a week. I was serving at church and signing up for everything I could, but my striving never stopped. It looked like devotion, but it was really pride.
“Later that year, at Awaken, a conference for young adults hosted by The Porch, I was serving surrounded by people worshiping, and in a moment, it hit me. This isn’t about me at all. It’s all about Jesus.
“That day, I decided something had to change. I stopped overworking and started resting. I took a year off from serving and learned what it meant to say no, to slow down, and to let God be enough.
“My next yes was going on a mission trip to Ethiopia. I went to share the gospel with people who didn’t know Jesus, but God used that trip to also remind me of my own story, what he had done in my heart, and how he had changed my life. For the first time, I cried in front of other people. God softened me. He showed me it’s okay to be tender, to feel, to weep, to depend. Later, on a second trip to Ethiopia, I met my husband, Tommy. We weren’t even supposed to be on the same team at first, but God had other plans. His timing was perfect.
“Looking back, I can see how the Lord used every season, the idols, the striving, the heartbreak, to draw me closer to him. Today, marriage is showing me a new kind of sanctification. I’m learning how selfish I can be, how much I still need grace, and how faithful God is to keep shaping my heart.
“When I think about my story now, I see it so clearly. The Lord used what broke me to bring me to him. He’s still teaching me how to surrender, how to rest, and how to remember that it’s not about what I can do. It’s about what he’s already done.”